Yesterdays T session:

We talked a lot about withdrawing from the meds and how my emotions and feelings were becoming unblocked. That although the withdrawal had me feeling quite physically ill, I felt my mind was beginning to clear. I thought he'd go easy on me since I felt ill, he doesn't usually push anyways, but he asked me what images/memories were flashing this week. I really freaked, because there is this one shame filled memory that has been beating the crap out of me. It is really stupid that it would bother me, but I am so ashamed of it. I actually wrote about it HERE.

I started to try and tell it, and I felt like I would absolutely die. He kept pushing me on...you'll survive telling me, I am not going to hate you for it, keep going...etc.

With his help I managed to tell. This is the first time I told him a really shameful thing. I don't know how I feel about it now.