I just recently starting seeing a T (by the way, I hate the name therapist!!). I have always been very independent. I don't ask for help unless it is a group assignment or something to that nature.
After my primary care doctor suggested me talking to someone I made an appointment just to shut him up. Imagine my anxiety (never had anxiety until I went to walk through this door) of walking in the first day of seeing a therapist just so my doctor wouldn't write non compliant on my chart. I thought she was going to give me some pointers on what I could do and I am home free. NOT! She wanted me to come back a week later and I said ok. I thought maybe she was going to do some research and after talking to me the second visit she would send me on my marry way and wish me luck. NOT! She wanted to know how my childhood was. Either my catatonic state or the fact that I dropped my large cup of coffee on her white carpet when she asked the question gave it away. Either way, she knew there was more than what I was telling.
I left and cancelled my appointment for the 3rd visit. She called me twice and asked me to come back and talk to her and she didn't want me to blow her off.
After staying up most of the night scared to death of the dreaded questions she was going to ask, I went to my appointment. She made it a point to tell me she knows I was blowing her off, that's why she called, and she's glad I came in. All I could think at the time is "against my will lady and you need the money".
After asking 3 different times how I was and my response "fine" she finally said..."You've shut me out and that's ok right now. What can I do to make you feel more at ease here because you look like a deer in the headlight and ready to bolt out the door any minute?" Then she caught me by surprise... "What do you want to know about me? Maybe if I tell you about me you'll feel better. You must wonder something about me.. What do you think of me so far?" My response: Well, you have to have some brains about you to be a member of the Phi Beta Kappa (I saw the award hanging on the wall)." I left thinking to myself it's a good thing the woman is a member of the Phi Beta Kappa because she dang sure has her work cut out for her. I don't feel comfortable talking to anyone but the issues go really deep. She really went above and beyond to offer to tell herself to me and me ask her anything. I think that shows a lot about a doctor being as I work with them everyday at a hospital and never once in my 8 years have I ever heard a doctor say that to a patient! Not one thing was related to my past. Her whole hour was devoted to making me feel comfortable. When I was walking to the door she said "It's ok you don't trust me. These things take time. I promise I won't abandon you." Honestly, abandon wasn't even my worry because at this point it would make me happy to tell my primary care doctor the lady quit on me so I wouldn't have to do it.
I've read posts about some peoples experience with their T. How do you talk to them? I can't do it. I felt bad for the lady because she had to deal with me an hour but I just can't talk to her. Advice?