NinaNina, I am with an older man too, 24 years older than me, (I know, huge age gap but it works). He has been married in the past, for 6 years, to a woman he is still like best friends with. She has a female partner now so there is no competition, but the thought of them being together, and that he used to think they would be together forever bothers me some. I try not to think about the fact that they had sex and that she was his first. There's really no point in thinking about any of it, but it does creep into my mind sometimes. I ask about her a lot, and compare myself to her. Am I better than her, so that he will think I am the one he will be with forever? I wonder how I can be better so that if we get married, our relationship doesn't fall apart like his did with the other woman. I know what it's like to believe I might marry someone, my ex boyfriend, but I've never been so serious with a man before in my life, yet he has been in an even more serious relationship, and that intimidates me. So, you aren't alone, I think it's normal to have some of these thoughts and feelings. But try not to think too much about it, thats all I can say.