Sorry that you got to that point in your life. In my opinion that shrink needs to see someone about his/her bedside manner, but that is my opinion. Glad it worked for you, but it so easily could have made you feel even worse which is why I commented at all on your post.
I do appreciate now what you may have been trying to do but it just isn't the right approach for here for most people. I know for myself I signed up here to have someone, anyone who might understand what I feel. My hubby is a wonderful man...but his approach is just smile & it will go away or don't let it get you, it's in the past. Years of abuse, guilt, fear and yes even a death wish don't just go away because I will it to or because I am afraid of what it might do to others. I am still here because I imagined what life would be like for me(after death)looking down and seeing my children and not being able to hold them when they smile, achieve or cry. People here (like you)have gone through all kinds of pain and are still going through it and are here because for some reason what they do get in RL is just not enough to get them through. Some like me can't say some things to my family so I do it here...sometimes I get hugs, responses sometimes I don't but at least it is no longer ringing around my head convincing me of its truth.
Thanks for trying to help.
Hugz
Nams