In about 6 weeks or so, I'll be moving across the country and away from my T. I've worked with her over a year and a half- at first in a small process group in Oct.-Dec. 2010, then individual since Jan. 2011. I am quite attached to her, and leaving makes me feel very sad. I've already cried about it a couple of times.

I've seen a bunch of therapists here and there, but I had a similar reaction to the therapist I saw July 2007-Aug. 2008 in individual and group. The transition was very difficult for me, and I'm even more attached to my current T. Old T was actually someone who put me off at first and I wasn't crazy about her, though I grew to really like her. With my current T, I felt like I clicked with her immediately and my feelings have only grown stronger.

I am really really really sad about this relationship ending, because I know she can't be my friend and it hurts. I shared that with her on Monday in a short note/letter I wrote her, and I felt sooo embarrassed about it. She said there was nothing to be embarrassed about and thanked me for holding her in such high esteem. Which was as good a reaction as I could have hoped for, but it still isn't us becoming wonderful friends.

Due to attachment issues that have been popping up, we cut back down to once a week sessions because the weeks I saw her twice have been "activating" for me lately. I know it's for the best, but it means fewer sessions with her are left. I only let myself be vulnerable with so few people that I have a really tough time with those rships ending versus other rships I don't get invested in and don't give a second thought when they end. Which makes it all the more harder to open up to people when I know how it affects me.

Well, I'll stop rambling now. Basically, I'm gonna miss my T a lot and I feel very sad about leaving.