rainboots, you can ramble to us anytime. We get what it's like to feel this way and not really have anywhere else to talk about it.
It's so good that you managed to share this with your T. Otherwise, you might regret not letting her know. Her positive reaction was also very genuine.
I'm sorry you have to go through this. I wish I could make it better for you.
Could give her a little something (inexpensive or handmade if you knit or something) so that a little piece of you will still be with her?