Not much has changed since I was last on here.

I got a text from the college counciller about a month ago saying that I'd be contacted when I should come in for an appointment.

I havent been contacted. There are 3 weeks left of college.

So yeah, same emotions. Except there's a new thing....actually, not exactly new but something I havent felt for a fairly long time. Loneliness when around people. It keeps happening. Everyone seems so close and together. And then there's me.

I keep feeling like I'm going to break down. It's taking all of me not to.
I need someone to turn to. I need someone to be there to hug me when I cry and comfort me.

But I don't deserve it. I'm a bad person. There are people who deserve it more than I do. It's selfish of me to want it.

Feck it, I want love.

But the thing is I dont believe in love. I really dont.

I need danger and action. I need to stop feeling so bored with life. Maybe if I'm not bored then maybe I won't feel so lonely or guilty or sad.

I don't know. All I know is that I don't need this. This crummy life that we all have to put up with.

Ack. How are you all tonight? xxxxx