I really enjoy the night, everything about it makes me feel like I'm in my element. However when you don't get enough sleep chaos erupts turning good mood feelings into confution, lack of interests, including social interaction and so forth. These are just some of the problems that I face when mania gets out of control. Mania is a feel good state that actually might be the cause of some depressive states I've experienced.

After all these years I still allow myself to go overboard. It was just a few days ago I was having trouble sleeping, no not trouble I simply didn't want to I was on a manic high and wanted it! So I stayed up for over 48 hours, took a couple of my 3am walks until the ride was over. When it was all said and done I felt the usual affects. Confution, rapped speach, presure in my head it goes on and on. But guess what it didn't disrupt my life. I wasn't lost wondering what was going on with me (I knew what was happening) and what I think that is most important I didn't experience depression, a little mixed mania but nothing extreme.

In a way I'm actually proud of myself for being able to better manage my life. Even if it's not always doing the right thing.

This reminds me I better get to the store for more coffee.