((((geez)))))),

I have been wondering about you, you have been quiet for a while. Ok, what you did just now IS VERY GOOD FOR YOU. However, never allow the feelings of wanting to harm yourself EVER take over into action. THAT EMOTION "WILL" GO AWAY OK?

I am glad that you shared this here geez. You need to do this you know, let it out and talk about it as well as let out the anger that is hidden within your post here.
Yes, SOMEONE DID HURT YOU and YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE ANGRY. And depending on WHEN that happened always remember some of these emotions CAN be the emotions of A CHILD that may be VERY ANGRY AND EVEN DISAPPOINTED OR VERY FRIGHTENED.

You need to talk about this in therapy as well geez. These things DO come forward and they ARE NEVER MEANT TO PUNISH YOU. You have to allow a part of yourself to always be there WITH A REASONING AND LOVING WILL TO TAKE CARE OF THE PART OF YOU THAT WAS HURT. Yes, and you have to let the anger out, as well as finally allow yourself to GRIEVE it too. I know, it is very hard, I myself have felt this anger, desire to end me as well as a great sense of loss where I have cried to the depths of me. But this is what has to be done TO FINALLY HEAL. Yes, I know it is hard, but remember NEVER HARM YOURSELF no matter how much you feel that need somehow, IT WILL PASS.

Keep trying geez and remember don't ever worry about sharing here ok?

((((Big supportive HUGS))))
And by the way, I need to lose weight too and I have eaten some fattening things too. It will be ok, don't be hard on yourself.

Open Eyes