I remember a while ago t commented that it seems like I'm very uncomfortable with emotions and especially crying. My version of crying is essentially sitting completely still with water falling. My eyes don't scrunch I just hold very still. She asked me that time what I needed from her, I had no idea (still don't). I think that made my feel more hopeless because here's someone who wants to help but in baffled by the idea that something SHE did (or would have done) could help. I couldn't understand why she even asked the question because it seemed so unrelated to my being upset.

So today I left and I dropped some tears during session and I got thinking, how doors she just sit there watching someone cry. And I don't mean that in an angry way or as if I now know what I want her to do (still don't). I guess I was wondering how she doesn't become uncomfortable. When I'm with someone who's crying I try to fix it for them. T doesn't, she sits.

And I know many people struggle with being able to cry at all in t so I feel bad for whining about whatever it is I'm whining about.

My reason for posting this? I don't know. Maybe it's just the result of being on the internet to quickly after t that I feel the need to brain bard.