Jan, go slowly and easily on yourself. Is this the ex who has hurt you so? I have friends who go to church sunday nights because it is smaller and quicker. Mostly elderly and or disabled friends. I am not a church goer but my friend has a very supportive church and I know that if anyone in her congregation called another member and said look, I am having trouble but I really want to go, there would be help there in a moment. Something to think about. Good luck.