Anxiety.
lots. and lots. of anxiety.
every second on my own i feel like I'm suffocating and I hate it.
This comes and goes. I haven't had panic attacks in months, but they're back.
I say I just want sleep; that I'm not feeling well- hoping that'll grab someone's attention, even though I don't know why it would so then I'm still sitting all alone but then I'm more sad because no one catches it and so i wind up just sitting alone on the verge of tears just wondering if I should give up and go to sleep, but I know when I go to bed like this I have nightmares and i don't know which is worse, waking lonely reality of sleeping cruel fantasy.
and then ankle will send random jolts of pain if i touch it on something or step on it wrong and my arms ache HORRIBLY.
mostly because of my crutches but, my lower arms too.. if you can understand the old longing of a long-quit cutter.
I sprained my ankle yesterday and I graduate in less than a week now.
I have to finish 3 illustrations for a children's book in a week and a half.
I need a second to breathe but have no time to take it.
So i'm here again. on psychcentral.
because i have no one else to turn to.
__________________
Apathy breeds Ignorance;
Ignorance breeds Sanity.
“By lack of understanding they remained sane. They simply swallowed everything, and what they swallowed did them no harm, because it left no residue behind, just as a grain of corn will pass undigested through the body of a bird.”
― George Orwell, 1984
I care, so I understand;
but through my understanding- pain
Current Sanity Score:144
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