Just because you are biologically related, doesn't mean you have to still have her be a major part of your life.
I think you should try to learn to set boundaries of what you will not tolerate from other people, including her, and learn how to detach in a way that is healthy for YOU.
You don't owe her anything. You are your own person and you own your life. Your mother has never owned you, and she still doesn't. When you learn to detach, her feelings/thoughts will no longer become your burdens.
Good luck.