I remember kicking recently and what I missed the most, was losing the knowledge that I had a very solid idea about what the day would bring while I was using. I would find drugs, use drugs repeat. Maybe joke around and make some friends along the way. Then it was like, "what is this day going to be like?" I've overcome that fear. I enjoy walking and playing my guitar and chatting with counter clerks while buying products. I have a better life clean.