Well, I would just go read the newish links in Romantic Feelings, the blog esp is quite good (but only cos I had a hard time reading the other piece on my phone). My T made a LOT of wrong moves over this whole issue. He has said, at least a hundred times, "But I don't WANT to get married again!" Like that matters!!! I don't know what he's thinking! Probably something about himself! That is to say, they are trying to navigate this situation as honestly as possible, staying in touch with THEIR feelings, because staying in touch with our own feelings is how we get to what these feelings are actually about, in relation to our own personal histories AND relative to THIS particular T. This is an onion that keeps blooming.