I'm not going to say very much in regard to your first post, because you and I live in very different worlds and my notions of makes a man masculine have little to do with your points - I do want to point out that with the exception of penetrative sex, the points you mention are social/cultural constructs of masculinity, not inherently male at all. I realise that doesn't change anything in how you feel about them, but maybe it can be one point to consider?

I also want to applaud your realisation of the fact that you are experiencing loss of privilege. Lots of blokes have real issues with recognising that. Good on you.