Talked to my pdoc in her office a couple days ago asking if I was maybe in a mixed episode because I still felt down but had some manic features. She said maybe, and maybe med reactions. We're trying yet another new combination of sleep meds that should put a horse down for the duration, but nothing works for more than a few hours. I haven't had a full night of sleep in weeks. She also agreed that the insomnia could be from the depression and anxiety, so the short version is nobody really knows.

Now I'm noticing I'm not as down, even about things that probably would get me down normally. That's what has me wondering if this is the beginning of a swing toward mania again. I'll try to put precautions in place - no alcohol, be very careful with money, stay in contact with my wife and away from anyone she could possibly be jealous of. Those will be hard to do while I'm living alone. Other than that I guess I just try to ride it out and hope it isn't too bad.