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Originally Posted by Apteryx
Is crying necessarily a good thing? Why is it? (I'm genuinely curious.)
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I guess I would be a little uncomfortable if my T was full out crying with me (though I haven't full out cried yet...just teared up). I have seen my T tear up once but I was straight faced at the time and it was one of my first visits with her that she did this...Later we talked about how I was uncomfortable crying and I didn't know what to do with myself when other people around me cried, so she hasn't even teared up since. Tearing up doesn't bother me so much...I guess she expressed some sadness over what I was telling her during that session. I thought it was weird and uncomfortable at first but after the session, I realized that it really validated my feelings about the situation, whether I was showing that I was sad by tearing up/crying or not. So I think a T crying would be weird, but showing that they are sad with you? I found that validating.
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I have a sense, based only on my incomplete understanding of how my T ticks, that she would find it uncomfortable if I were to cry in session. Maybe I'm just projecting what I would be feeling, though. Other mental health professionals I've seen have had a box of tissues somewhere around (one %&#€"#€"&& woman even told me two minutes after I sat down the first and only time I went to see her that "there are tissues if you need to cry" which to me felt very much like an intrusion). Current T doesn't have any tissues in her room that I've seen, and I've taken that as a hint that tears aren't welcome. Again, I may be completely wrong in my interpretation.
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How do you know she's not just hiding them somewhere and would be ready to pull them out if needed? I HIGHLY doubt that any therapist would discourage crying, that seems counter-intuitive to me. Ts are paid so we can express whatever we're feeling whenever we're feeling it without being judged...why wouldn't that include crying? Personally, I find the box of tissues laying around to be intimidating for some reason, like I am expected to cry and the thought of a T staring at me while I cry is anxiety producing for me...so just staring a box of tissues during the session would make me feel sheepish. In my T's office they're sitting on an end table at the other end of the couch, so I am not looking directly at them ever. They have a box in the waiting room though on the coffee table that I can't ignore, I would be mortified if I was ever crying in the waiting room and had to use the tissues there!