Quote:
Originally Posted by Breana
Even though good things are happening and im relativly happy, i still feel empty. Walking through the motions. Pleasing people and trying to better myself when i feel like indefinetly i will fail in the end. Does anyone else feel this way. It is a stupid selfish feeling that only makes me seem to be overbearing and disapointing to my family and others bcs they done know how to "fix me" Well let me know what you think..  |
I was just speaking with my T about this. I can relate
I have been working really hard on a few things:
- Being easy on myself and asking myself over and over "what would I tell my best friend?" usually the answer is MUCH nicer and more compassionate compared to what I tell myself.
- NOT people-pleasing and putting others' needs ahead of my own. And staying out of professions that require those things.
It's exhausting and a never-ending road of self-defeat because I never learned how to really take care of myself properly (meaning, feeling good about myself
without having all of the material things)
- Asserting myself. Which at first, it was horrible and difficult, and I felt miserable after (embarrassed, guilty, ridiculous, etc).
But the more I assert myself, the better I am getting at it (at first, I have to admit, it was uncomfortable and I felt like a complete idiot!
Also, my delivery could have been MUCH better!) Meh.
I am a work in progress
- Picking my battles. I find the more I work on the above, the less I am triggered by behaviors, things, people's attitudes / manipulations / abuse.
There is a long road ahead for me, but the more I focus on myself and REALLY healing (even though some days I feel as if I am just "showing up", which is actually all I can do), the less "alone" I feel because I feel more safe and therefore able to extend myself more to the outside world.
I hope this helps a bit
Anyone else?