Quote:
Originally Posted by insideout
Sometimes I find myself stunned at the date on the calendar. Recently I "woke up" to whicever one of me I was at the time, and realized that it was 2012. It felt like it was still a year or more ago.
I find myself doing that after switching from someone to someone else etc.
It still trips me out because I am not always aware of the fact I am someone else.
I don't even know which me is the main me anymore because we all think we are the OG owner...
I think I lost her somewhere inside me...
When she grows up, she can come out and I will be coconscious with her and we can drive our body together. lol
well, other than apparently wanting to rant, I just want to know
where the time goes, as in, who stores the memories and why are they all divided up into different mini brains for the other me's to not be able to access?
Why are we sharing the same brain, yet it seems to be all divided up like this?
will the parts ever merge, and if they do, will my alters "die"?
I am a confused one atm.
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Im sorry but we cant answer for you where your time went, who stores your memories and why your memories are all divided up into mini brains for other you's and you not having access, nor can we answer for you why you and your system share the same brain but it seems to be all divided up, whether your parts will merge or not and whether you will perceive your alters as a death when they merge with you.
only you and your treatment providers knows how you think and answer these questions..
What I can tell you is that for me I did not perceive integration as a death. This was in part because my treatment providers explained to me that here where I live and work the mental health community believes that alters with DID do not die..
my treatment provider used two glasses of water, one hot and one cold and a third empty glass to show me what happens at integration.. one glass of water representing me lacking all my memories, emotions, feelings and the other the water represented all the alters fill of memories, feelings emotions.... then she dumped both the cold and the hot water into the third glass, which represented me and the alters. the result was we all work together making one whole person again the way we were when we first were born to our biological mother.
another reason I didnt perceive my integration as a death is because at the moment my alters merged I was able to remember just like normal people do, including all those memories and emotions my alters held. my alters were and are not gone. they are with me just in a different and normal way.
another thing my therapist did for me was showed me how the brain works, how even a normal brain is divided up into sections and each section of the brain does a different job of remembering and storing information, memories, feelings, senses....
heres a couple links that can start you on the road to understanding how the human brain works...I dont know what your level of understanding in relation to science and health so Im putting more than one link here...
http://science.education.nih.gov/sup...brainparts.htm
http://www.webmd.com/brain/picture-of-the-brain
http://kidshealth.org/kid/htbw/brain.html
http://www.neure.com/Index.cfm?file=BrainMap.cfm
there are many more links online to be found. just type in your search bar - "brain" and thousands of options will be there for you to open and read / look at..