Hiya

Thanks for your comments, I appreciate the advice. I have had a rough couple of days with a lot of mood swings and my anxiety was getting on top of me but I'm feeling much better today. I have been trying to make sure I'm looking after myself. I had a good talk with my partner and let him know just how much he hurt me last week and also listened to how he was feeling why he's been lashing out which I think was good for both of us.

He appreciated that even though we had split a few days before as soon as he asked me I went get him from hospital and he said that made him feel like I still cared about him. This was his second episode since we've been together so he wasn't as worried about me judging him as he was before. Both of us have had support from his church (thank you for that suggestion). Now he's been feeling better he's been really trying, he's been meaning again when he says he loves me and hugging me much I have missed so much. I have been showing him that I do really care and now it seems he does feel like he didn't mean a lot of hurtful things he said and didn't mean to treat me that way. He's still not 100 percent but even just to see part of the way he used to be gives me some hope.

Sometimes the difficult part is I'm a planer and I get really anxious when I don't have a plan. When we start building and working towards things everything falls apart, it's almost like I go through it with him and then it seems we have to start from scratch again. I see how frustrating it is for him to have to start again. I do often wonder if it's possible from us to build. It's good to hear when people manage to make their relationships work against the odds.