Quote:
Originally Posted by Dreamy01
I can understand you feeling upset. I suspect I would have the same feelings in your situation.
That said, I don't think your T has said anything wrong as such, but definite overkill. It sounds like she reacted out of her own feelings/needs when she said 'I'm not gay'. Something in her needed to be sure you knew that. I can see why that has offended you. She didnt have to say that. And in doing so, she has hurt your sense of knowing you're a moral person who respects her boundaries and the need for her to be aware of it too. I like to think I'm a respectful person when it comes to boundaries in T's office and any sort of overreaction would hurt me too.
I'm glad you're planning to talk to T about it. I'm sure she will realise her mistake. She sounds a good, ethical T. She reacted out of her needs and it isn't any reflection on you.
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Thanks for understanding - so many great replies here. Yes, I just can't get over the "Gay" comment. Methinks she doth protest too much. And the really funny thing? After that, she proceeded to tell me she too had an attraction to her own therapist years ago, and that he was "The best looking man I'd ever seen." I really wanted to laugh and say, "yes, I get you like Di$#." I mean, my attraction REALLY offended her sexual identity, and I find that very odd, and a bit telling.
When a straight male comes on to me, I don't say "Oh, I'm gay!" I say I'm in a relationship, and I'm not interested, but thank you anyway. I'm also in a career where I can't get involved with my clients. I had one man ask me to dinner. I didn't say "Oh, I'm gay." I said that any relationship outside the office is not ethical in my career, and I cannot have contact with any client outside the office (I'm
NOT a psychotherapist, by the way, but my job has similar rules and ethics, that I adhere to). But I never have felt the need to say "I'm gay," because it has NO bearing on the situation, and it's quite frankly none of their business. And I REALLY didn't want to learn about her orientation, either. Eww.
I will try to keep a calm head. I realize she did handle it as best she could, and she's human. But so am I. I fully intend on talking to her about this, and explaining why I am so offended.
I'm SO moral, in fact, that once after a session, she stood up to walk me out. She dropped something, and while getting it, her shirt lowered, and I saw cleavage. I IMMEDIATELY, and without hesitation, turned my head to give her privacy. Did I want to? Honestly? No! I wanted to look, of course, but I would never take advantage of a vulnerability like that. I'm highly moral...but she made me feel like a dillusional pervert!
After thinking about it, I think having a gay person attracted to her somehow, in some weird way, is an affront to her own sexuality.
Thanks for the empathy. I thought the hardest part would be admitting my attraction, NOT dealing w/ her reaction to it!
