Thoughts should not cause shame; you are doing nothing shameful or wrong in fantasizing. If I were you, I would process the emotions by fantasy, pleasure myself, and not worry. You might also consider talking to a therapist--not to clear up the attraction but to clear up the guilt. We don't hurt anyone or anything within our minds; you are free to fantasize. Be gentle with yourself.
shipping
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My life resembles something that has not occurred. I am a birdcage without any bird.
E.E. Cummings
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