You know, I had a very similar conversation with my T about a year ago. My memory is fuzzy, but she said, "you know I'm gay, right?" She has pictures of her wife and kids and we have occasionally swapped "my wife does this" stories (I'm a guy). She is very open about her orientation and family life, so it's never been a mystery to me. Since I've had romantic feelings for pretty much every T I've ever had, of both genders and all kinds of orientations, clearly who my T is attracted to doesn't really play a role in this kind of transference. I have always been pretty aware that my romantic feelings (including the most interesting time, when I was attracted to my gay male T) are about the emotional care I've been given, not really true eroticism or lust. I've always been real clear that I am completely head over heels in love with my wife of 15 years. I've shared these "romantic" feelings with I think every T I've had, and the response has always felt kind of the same.

Since safety in my T relationship is a big issue with me, they have all said in all kinds of different ways that "you're safe with me, I'm not attracted to you, and even if I were, it wouldn't be ethical for me to act on that." I think all of those things are important for a T to state, at least they were important to me.

So my interpretation of what your T said that you seem to be struggling with is that she was trying to reassure you that she was not attracted to you. Seems to me that it's a pretty good argument that you're not attracted to someone when you aren't into that gender. And this makes it nonpersonal, as in, I felt my T was saying to me, you are a lovable, attractive, appealing man but I would never be attracted to you regardless of how many positive qualities you possess because I'm not into men. I found that comforting, and safe.

By all means you should discuss your reaction to her communicating around her orientation and how you feel and felt about it, that's the really important work to do here. I guess I just wanted to point out a possible reason why talking about her orientation in this context might have been a productive way to go about discussing it with you. JMO.