I can assure you that you are not alone. The same thing happens to me. I think I have forgiven people who have abused me in the past, and then I find myself fantasizing about horrible things happening to them. I do not want to have those thoughts. I do not want to be the kind of person who wants bad things to happen to anyone. And I really do not want these things to happen. I guess this is just my mind's way of getting justice for what happened. I don't know.

I wish I had some way to help. Just remember that everyday we learn something.