II have had delusional thoughts since I was a young child. From believing in "bloody mary" and avoiding mirrors when lights were off to believing aliens had put a device in my fingertips. I dealt with a young sui attempt and feeling godly presences. Lithium alone for me has stripped me of my "bipolar" identity. I still have some anger issues that are a residue of mood control and the impulsive reflexes but I havent had a lasting mood change for a few months now. I dont miss the rollarcoaster and Ive been more strict on myself about med adherance. The only reason I think Im doing so well was getting diagnosed early and a supportive family. I honestly believe much like schizophrenia, a good support is the best remedy for overcoming trials.

Since the nature of bipolar disorder is experienced through behaviors and thoughts I refuse to see myself as a chemical imbalence. That takes away the very human aspect of the disorder. We might have chemical imbalances but often times these medicines that are prescribed are a hit or miss so its clearly not a science yet. When they get to a point in technology where they can tell me where the imbalance is I will consider calling it that. I dont see myself as ill either...I believe I have times where I am less functional and feel ill pr elated. It is easy to stigmatize yourself as bipolar and it consuming every part of your life.