I don't know your dad, but I've been in his shoes, and I think I have some insights into what's going on in his mind.
He loves you, and he wants you to be as well as possible. He believes the meds are your best shot at being well. Probably the mental health people have talked to him about the shots. I heard about them all ... the ... time. Every time my son quit his meds, someone would say, "There's always the shots." The first time I heard that my ears perked up. The shots! That's the answer! Then I learned that the medications available in shot form aren't the ones that work for him. Also, I could never bring myself to force that on him. If he doesn't want the pills, he doesn't want the shots. It just seemed too humiliating in some way.
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he talks to me about stuff like the police may pick me up in public again or i might goto terrell. which is a state hospital in texas. 70 miles from here. i almost got sent there. they may have been trying to scare me.
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He's scared for you IMO. He worries that there are really bad things ahead if you don't take the pills. And he may be right, idk.
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i really want a couple of meds on my mind. and its...just..to keep it short. i have to goto a psych to get them.
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Are you hoping they'll give you some Xanax and Ambien to abuse again?
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but anyway i really really was wanting to cancel last night or this..morning. the appt. because ..i mean...once i get that injection...my life is over...its just..its over... in every way... ive been through this stuff already....in different forms...man...
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Your life's not over if you get the injection. For real. I've been on schizophrenia forums for years now, and you don't know how many people I've heard say, "I got the shots for 3 or 4 months, then I never went back." People who don't want to take meds badly enough find a way to avoid them. If there's no court order, they can't chase you down and inject you against your will. We still have a few civil rights left. (They probably wouldn't even if there
were a court order.)
My problem with getting the shots:
1. Limited choice of meds. With pills you have more options and can try different medications if the current one isn't good for you.
2. I'm really afraid that once they have that med in you, they won't be interested in getting you talk therapy. And that's what you really need, newtus. You need other people to connect with if you're going to heal. You're too isolated. Even a therapist and a case manager would be a good start.
If you're going to agree to the shots, you might as well take the pills IMO. There are other ways of forcing compliance than shots. Can you negotiate for some kind of monitoring? Having someone watch you take the pills and/or using a disc melt form?