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Originally Posted by twinarmageddons
Now, my main question revolves around whether or not if you realize something is a delusion, is it no longer a delusion?"
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This is a good question. The answer I have makes sense in my head, but I don't know how much sense it will make to you. I will try though.
The distinction I work on making is the difference between "real to me," and "real to you." For example: I often see different kinds of birds sitting or hopping on people's heads and shoulders. This is very real to me. I can see them clearly, see the person's hair moving around the bird's talons, hear the rustling of their feathers, sometimes even smell them. (Real to me) However, if I pay close attention, I will note that the person has a total lack of reaction to the bird sitting on their head. And that no one else is reacting to it at all. (NOT real to you) So, the fact that I realize I'm the only one seeing it makes it a "hallucination," or "delusion," but it's still very much real to me. I don't know if that makes any sense to you, but that's the best way I can think to put it.
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"Now, I realize at the end of the day that these thoughts are absolutely absurd, despite the fact that deep down I still believe them.
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I wonder if this is a case of you convincing yourself? Like telling a lie so many times, that even though you knew it was a lie in the beginning, you start believing it yourself?
I don't mean that in a negative way at all. Just that it sounds like that at some point or in some way you do know the difference between the reality and the "obsession," but somewhere in there have become confused about where that line is.