being triggered and feeling bad does NOT mean you have failed or are bad, trinity! you are dealing with big feelings, big pain; it's hard and you are struggling, but you are still trying the best you can to deal with them. that's not failure - struggling is not the same as failing. and you're not dumb for having the struggle or the hurt or being triggered.
I think you do need more support/contact with your counselor; I hope you can get what you really need from her.
I'm glad you reach out here for support; that is a good, safe way to try to cope with some of the big feelings.
big safe hugs to all of you!