My Support Forums - View Single Post - Delusions or not delusions? Schizotypal PD, or Schizoaffective? Or none of the above?

twinarmageddons · May 18, 2012, 08:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gr3tta

This is a good question. The answer I have makes sense in my head, but I don't know how much sense it will make to you. I will try though.
The distinction I work on making is the difference between "real to me," and "real to you." For example: I often see different kinds of birds sitting or hopping on people's heads and shoulders. This is very real to me. I can see them clearly, see the person's hair moving around the bird's talons, hear the rustling of their feathers, sometimes even smell them. (Real to me) However, if I pay close attention, I will note that the person has a total lack of reaction to the bird sitting on their head. And that no one else is reacting to it at all. (NOT real to you) So, the fact that I realize I'm the only one seeing it makes it a "hallucination," or "delusion," but it's still very much real to me. I don't know if that makes any sense to you, but that's the best way I can think to put it.

I wonder if this is a case of you convincing yourself? Like telling a lie so many times, that even though you knew it was a lie in the beginning, you start believing it yourself?
I don't mean that in a negative way at all. Just that it sounds like that at some point or in some way you do know the difference between the reality and the "obsession," but somewhere in there have become confused about where that line is.

I see! That's very helpful, thank you! I definitely do not hallucinate, which is what drives me very far away from having schizophrenia. Well, come to think of it, I have had minor hallucinations, but they were probably just my mind playing tricks on me.

This is what leads me further into thinking that Schizotypal may be a possibility, since that Dx doesn't typically have any full-blown psychotic features, but includes having a rampant fantasy life. At least, so i've heard. Not sure how true that is completely!

And this is very possible! I am really not sure at all, to answer your question...which is no help at all, eheh. I have a very skewed line between reality and fantasy, like you said, that is for sure. The line between them is very blurry, and I don't really know what to do or think about them! Like you said though, I can differentiate between the two. But a good way to explain it, is that it feels like I am living a separate life apart from everyone else. It's really quite strange.