Your post is quite long and confusing, but im nobody to tell you how you should work on this, i myself am too in a problem somewhat, me and my bf have just been fighting and fighting ive came to the conclusion that i need to get out of this relation specially because it causes me very sick thoughts and well etc. Bad relationships are bad for you, specially if he shows no interest, but then again if he does carry a MH problem then you should search for couple therapy if that is how its called,