I read your whole post and was a little concerned that you were so much worrying about his running of his life. You went from his working/supporting you 110% to suddenly mentioning your job and career but then were back dying of menstrual cramps and arguing with him because he wanted to do the dishes.

I would say to learn to leave him alone. He has his own life and you either want to be with him or not. His life is not about you and your life should not be about him. It sounds like all the discussions you want to have with him are about how he's screwing up your life by his decisions about his own life? There seems to be too much judging going on and too much trying to fit yourself into his life instead of having one of your own.

I would first decide what you want for you and then see if you want him and what changes you want to make in your own life to be with him; not what changes he can make in his life to accommodate you. My husband use to care mostly about how much money he made, used that as a standard for how successful he was and I explained over and over to him that if he wanted a job where we had to live in a tent, I was with him. We can choose to adjust to others if we want but we cannot expect to change the others to adjust to us.