Yeh hopefully....I mean at the moment it would be impossible for me to have penetrative sex because I'm in a lot of pain (there all the time from a medical condition, would prevent me from attempting to have sex in the first place...and it wouldn't be wise at the mo) just to clarify that as sometimes when I explain it they just think I mean pain during sex and that it's a psychological thing about sex....it's not....it's because of a physical illness.

However it has affected me emotionally and psychologically as I'm so used to being in pain in that area that it has made me really screwed up about sex and relationships as it has become a source of stress rather than a source of fun,pleasure, love etc....sex should be about all the good things in life....

I'm doing everything I can to get my physical health sorted out....and then hopefully I should start to feel better emotionally....in the meantime if I was in a relationship I would be happy to have non penetrative sex....more than happy to....but recently my libido has gone to almost non existent (again a symptom of my health problem) but when all this is sorted out (which I really hope it will be) I'm hoping I can overcome all of this....

I think my issues are caused by a combination of two things one of my first serious relationships when I was younger was with someone who was really pushy, didn't care about me, was using me, made me feel as though I didn't have basic human rights over my own body and the right to sexual autonomy...I genuinely felt that I was really frigid and uptight (despite the fact that up until then I had always had a completely normal, healthy attitude to sex and had all of these feelings and no anxiety or emotionally confusing issues around it at all....and I felt completely intimidated by the whole situation etc...I know this is teenage stuff but I really started to feel as though it wasn't my body anymore etc....and it put me off for a long time....I got over it (or thought I had) and after that was fine with sex as long as it seemed like an equal thing (not feeling pressurised or made to feel it's something you just do for the man and it doesn't matter whether you want to or not). Then when my health condition started it stirred all these old issues up again big time....