I wrote a post last week about a dream I had here :
http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=228743

I keep thinking about it over and over and trying to hang onto it.

The dream made me feel so "full". Its a feeling ive never felt before. It was so awesome. It was like how a mothers love is supposed to feel. It was playful and happy and free of tension and full of love and happiness. I felt secure. A feeling of no matter what that person is always there. I could go anywhere, do anything, be anything. I could screw up, fall apart. Anything...and she person would always be there. To encourage, support, guide, help, make me feel better, pick me up.....its a home base. An anchor. It didnt have to be perfect. Just there. I cant have that in real life but I wish more than anything I could have that dream every night so I could wake up with that feeling every morning.

I havent seen T yet since I had this. She has been gone a week. I want to tell her but its going to be so weird since she was the "mom" in the dream.
That wasnt what made it so great. I didnt wake up like "T loved me in my dream and i wish i could have that everyday". it makes me nervous though. I admitted to her 2 weeks ago that she reminds me of what i wish my mom could've been. Strong, stable, steady, calm, etc etc. And she told me it was totally normal and fine and not weird and she was honored and all that stuff. But i got all weird about it. It made me defensive that she knows now. Im afraid it will change her and she will be distant. She hasnt given me any indication of that but its just my fear. I fear it going further. Right now im ok that i only see her once a week and that shes not available outside of that once a week but WHAT IF i get more attached and im not ok with that. What if i become so attached and needy that i will want and need to see her and talk to her more and want her to be more available. That sounds like a recipe for heartbreak. Really scary.