It also sounds like you were looking for this person who had such a huge amount of drive & end up so hugely successful that you could be completely taken care of by him without really having to worry about really caring for yourself.......even if you threw in that part about your career. It's rather confusing because you didn't have a career or anything when you needed to move in with him & he had to care for you 100+% & you were thrilled about him going for his PhD....then all of a sudden when he wasn't going to the school you wanted him to go to, all of a sudden, your career issues started to come up.

All is all, your post is rather confusing.....but then, I'm thinking that even at 30, you are feeling pretty confused about your own life.

What Perna said is KEY......you need to have your own life & goals, the guy you get together needs to have his own life & goals.....then if they match.......only then can you truly connect.

Truly think you need some good therapy......& this guy probably does also.......it's not all about age......it's about maturity on both parts.