Quote:
Originally Posted by PurpleFlyingMonkeys
Thank you for taking the time to read and reply I highly appreciate it. I have been diagnosed time and time again from numerous therapists psychiatrists etc all the same to me. Mental doctors. I've been in the system over 10 years and have been given the name for over 10 years, originally when it was mpd. Unfortunately it always seems to be questioned on pc, it's no wonder I always question it myself.
What is being questioned by my therapist is the connection between my DID and my seizures. He was not trying to diagnose me but was trying to originally start with a clean slate without DID diagnosis even though I've explained I was diagnosed time and time again. Starting with a clean slate in my opinion was a good idea. By the end of the session though he decided not to rule out DID because he felt it is very possible I was accurately diagnosed the many times I was. But like many with DID I constantly deny and constantly doubt the diagnosis. I said my first seizure was due to mushrooms, the second one was while I was on nothing at all, just under high stress.
I was diagnosed DID 10 years before I even tried mushrooms so to rule out DID because I took mushrooms 10 years doesn't make much sense to me. I only recently started getting seizures this past August and have only had two, one on mushrooms the other on nothing at all. The new therapist believes that my dissociation may have progressed to seizures. He thinks that there is a connection since there are many "coincidences" around this. But he still wants me to see a neuro and will be working with the neuro when I find one affordable.
I'm sorry amanda if this comes off anything less than polite. I've been at work 10 hours without a break and that tends to make me a grouch. I really do appreciate your response, you are always full of knowledge and very often know the answers to many questions.
But I have been diagnosed by numerous doctors numerous times throughout, I just don't want to believe it. I don't know if I ever will believe it.
I want to get better so part of me would like for him to try and bring someone out just to get the ball rolling but I'm really not ready for it yet and I think I will talk with him about that. I'm not ready for it to be confirmed to me that I do have DID. I like being in the dark sometimes. I put myself here and would like to linger here a little longer I think. The secrets are not something I think I'm ready to know.
Thank you again for such a great informative response.
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no your post does not seem harsh..
I just get confused reading your posts sometimes because one posting you are questioning everything and posting you havent been diagnosed DID and want to know if what you have sounds like it and other posts you say you have epilepsy and other postings you say you havent been diagnosed yet because they wont do the tests, no treatment providers and gosh your life is so full of ups and downs its hard to keep things straight and you have so many physical and mental health problems that could be the reason for this or that symptom/problem that you have posted about...sometimes when you post you start out saying this is the problem and you dont know what it is, then later sometimes only minutes later you post that you know what it is either in the same thread or on other boards..... the result is sometimes Im not sure whats what...
So before I post to you I always go back and look at your other postings to see whats what and try to make sense of where you are at in this long journey of yours..
yes denial is a hard thing isnt it. understanding and leaving the denial stage behind will come when you are ready.