********triggers maybee******* maybe its what they wanted me to think. Maybe not but am i the only one that ever doubts the abuse? Like maybe they were all dreams. The most recent abuse still has visible scars so its harder to deny but as a child, i cant help but think sometimes, that couldnt have been me. I couldnt have went through all of that and feel somewhat sane. I do remember trying to convince myself as a child that some of it was just a dream. I had to think that to survive. But now, i wonder did it ever happen? I know a few of the abusers confessed, but most called me a liar. Even when i had a witness, i was telling lies. Maybe thats why i feel it may be lies now. But do you ever wonder, "did that really happen to me or is it a false memory? It makes me worry about opening up to my t, what if it didnt happen the way i think it did? What if it was just a dream? I couldnt find happiness or function at all if the girl from my memories was actually me