Hi January - Sorry this is a problem for you. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have my Church and Church family . I know absolutely nothing of your past, and "triggers", but I am sure that there is a way to overcome this - with time perhaps. As I have been in a stiff leg brace for 3 weeks (surgery on Tues and then OFF my foot for 3 weeks), I have been having a friend take a lawn chair into Church for me to sit in, as I cannot get into a pew ! I attend a small Church, but I would not hesitate to take a chair and sit in the aisle of ANY Church if I knew I would be comfortable. Not much would keep from being in Church. It certainly sounds like you want to be able to go to SUnday morning service, and I hope that you will be able too soon. I also hope that you were able to attend night services tonight.

Dont be hard on yourself ! The most important person knows that you want to be there !