I would get the paper work for her, sit down and ask if she wants to work on the relationship or file. You can't deal, right now, with the threat of divorce looming over you. You guys may want to go back to house mates that have just started dating w. dates and everything while working with a marriage councilor. We have done this several times in our home. I don't know your wife but some times getting Dx'ed is 'validation' that all marriage problems are due to MI spouse (not true by the way), or that even with medication the spouse won't 'get better' (also not true). It's really hard to digest for all family members that it's mental illness not just a character flaw that can be fixed easily. best of luck.