Thank you for all your replies. Really, any outside perspective is very helpful. I guess I should have added in a little more information about myself, as long as this was.

I think maybe I have not explained enough of what I'm doing in my own life. From your responses, I feel like I may have come off like I am siting around with an expectation that this person takes care of me, which has not been the case. I do not expect anything from him other than to treat me with as much love and respect and care as he says he has for me and wants to do. He chooses to contribute his finances, and I have always been grateful.

His help was intended to be a crutch while I sorted things out, not to become a permanent fixture. I do also need to clarify that I have my own credit and other bills independent of his financial help, and have been using what I left to cover them. He has taken on all other financial responsibility as far as food, rent, and gas expenses, which I will admit is a lot. I am a coupon clipper, cook 5-6 nights per week, and hardly ever drive his car without him, so I am surely not living the life, living all off of this man. I try to keep our bills and costs down as much as I can. I'm basically the stay-at-home wife, who doesn't want to be stay at home. The problem really is that all that is a crutch is his finances, but emotionally he is starting to become aggressive and vacant when I need him to be supportive, to contribute to the relationship positively so that our relationship isn't another thing dragging me down. That doesn't mean I expect to be babied, but he doesn't ask how I'm doing very much, or seem to care about how things are or aren't progressing. He has been through a lot in the past two year, and I (to the extent that it began to have a huge negative impact on me), I was always there for him, no matter what.

As far as my career is concerned, I did have one...Basically, I worked for about 2 years outside of college (until I was 27), and was laid off from my first job. This job was really coveted in my work force, and I found myself loosing friends over my getting the position out of jealousy. So naturally, when I lost that job, I felt like I had lost everything, for something that I loved, cost me so much, and that I worked so hard at. After that point, I became even more depressed, and spent the next year and a half out of full time work because of the depression, but still tried to find smaller independent jobs to do on the side. Some of the jobs worked out for about a year, but it wasn't full time work or pay, but did allow me time to gain some clarity on my life. I did work again for another 6 months of freelance for a company full-time, but I believe my depression got the better of me and I was asked to leave. I am very good at what I do, and all of these jobs came from people seeking me out for my skills, but the field is competitive and there is high turnover. So while I am a good candidate, there are other great candidates that live closer, etc etc. I have the basis for a great career, but have a tumultuous past and present weighing me down, and I don't want my bf to start being one of those things as well. He knows how difficult my life has been and in the past seemed very sympathetic and helpful, but lately his outbursts, passive aggressive behavior, and his emotional pulling away are just kind of shoving my face in the dirt. He doesn't act like he really cares about me much anymore, by way of his actions, even though he says he do.

We often talk about marriage, our future life together, plans far in advanced... this is not some random sugar daddy I found to solve all my financial problems, and in fact I have been insistent that with my first paychecks, I begin to repay him for all the help he has given me. This is someone I want to build a life with, but he is emotionally absent and in the home, is not doing his part to contribute to our life together.

He's not being supportive, not being there, not caring about anything has just been piling on top of that, and everyone suffers. A relationship is a 2-person effort, and I feel like he lives like a bachelor with a roomate. If I did as some of you have said, and just let him do what he's going to do, I'd be picking up and moving my life to the other side of the country for 5 years (the length of his program), unsure if he was motivated enough to complete school, and in an area where the career I am passionate about doesn't have a market. At home, I would (well, I am) also be picking up after him like a maid, because he will do nothing by his own will. He gets out of the shower and leaves his clothes on the floor, cares about the laundry only when he has nothing left to wear... the list goes on. I don't think that I am doing anything wrong in simply asking for him to care about the place we live in, and to act like he cares what is going on with me. There is a breaking point for some people, and I am at that point.

His choices do affect me. I am home all day, but I am also trying to use that time to get myself a job and out of this situation, so I can repay him, get myself some therapy, just get on with life! I don't want to spend the entire day continuing to spend his money, feeling sorry for myself, and feeling like I'm not worth the effort on his part. Lately he seems to just be adding to these problems, but not caring what is going on with my life, the one we have together, and not caring much about this own.