Thanks guys. Many interesting viewpoints here! Love to discuss more.

I've finished the book, and for anyone with marital drama, would recommend it. What I've done in the past, previous relationships and my marriage, hasn't worked. Obviously. So trying something different seems like a good, logical option.

I'm already living with, and am married to, and love my husband. So I'd rather work on and "fix" this relationship rather than toss it in and try again.

I've been starting to practice some of the principles of the book, and it does SEEM TO WORK.

Instead of telling DH what to do, I simply tell him what I want or don't want. I let him worry about things that I am not good at, or can't do. Like fixing the outside light. We have a few front steps, and the light was broken, and I said "I really would like it if we fixed the light there, because I'm scared of falling down the steps on my crutches."

I told him what I wanted, and opened up that it was based on legitimate FEAR, and he promptly got the ladder as I was getting into the car (we were doing the shopping) and checked what kind of bulb it needed, bought the right one, and fixed it when we got back. Pretty good hey? If I had whinged at him for not thinking about the light, and attacked him for not doing a Husband Job, I doubt he would've given a damn, and prolly ignored the light for weeks/months just to make a point of doing stuff in his own time.

Is anyone else interested in starting a Surrendered Circle? Even if you want to practice just SOME of the principles and ideas in the book, or are reading it. I'd love other women to talk to, since I'm trying to give this a proper go.

I've always been a militant feminist and this book was an I'll Try Anything Now act to save my marriage. So a lot of this stuff is having trouble sticking, for me. LOL.