Your post made my heart hurt because it makes me remember the times when I was in a situation like that. I honestly think I wouldn't have had to check into inpatient seven years ago if my partner hadn't strung me along until I had spent weeks making myself sick trying to figure out which way it was going to go.

I got that exact same proposition "downgrade our relationship to roommates" I was involved with someone with their own alphabet of psych issues but what happened after that was never good.

If I could do it again (and this happened twice with the same person) I would pre-empt as soon as possible the terror and anxiety and stress and say " I can't live like this and be healthy. I HAVE to take care of myself. I need the space to do that" Besides being the truth it means you are being responsible for yourself which means your partner doesn't have to/can't use it against you.

Just because we have a significant mental health issue does NOT mean everything that goes wrong is our fault.