I have never felt so clear in my life. I still feel the pain that life brings but I can think clearly on my decisions and rationalize them. I have not felt that in a long time. I have always felt like a puppy dog with his tail under his legs and his hair standing up on his behind. I am ready to face reality and move on with life to heal myself. I would love to live on my own with my boys by my side 50 % of the time. I hate to say those words because I would love to have them a 100% of the time, but obviously thats not possibale in a divorce. I am now ready to fill out he papers so I can start living my life instaed of waiting for her to make up her mind on what she wants to do. I need to heal, heal , heal , and heal. That way I can be there for my kids and myself.