Relationships are messy, complicated, can't be such a f'n drag, and can suck the life out of you, ruin you, change you for the worse... or they can become the best thing you've ever experienced, bring you joy and laughter, marriage, children, and a lifetime of happiness. And you know what? I have good news for you. The reason you hold on to the fact that you'll be able to find a relationship that fits is because YOU WILL! And I believe that in saying that, you know and believe that is true.

The fact that something didn't work out is merely a sign that the relationship wasn't meant to be, and wasn't right for you. We all get angry and have our differences, and sometimes we don't accept our partners actions, and this can often be misconstrued as a lack of acceptance. Other times, the person is a bad fit. That doesn't mean you are a bad person, but just that you weren't right for the other person, and they weren't right for you. It can be painful to realize this, but you know what? It's ok. I promise! Things will get better.

Sometimes we subconsciously look for traits in our partners that we ourselves wish to be or that are familiar to us for unhealthy reasons we don't understand... For (a bad) example, children of alcoholics who end up marrying alcoholics. Of course those children don't WANT to marry alcoholics, but they are drawn to those damaged personalities, people that they want to change, and fix, to be codependent with... It is a strange thing, isn't it?

Are you happy with yourself? And where you are in your life? Do you have good self esteem and have a fulfilling life as an individual? The best thing you can do is to work on yourself, because only when you are in a happy place with yourself and your life, will you attract someone who is just the same way, and will accept you as you are.

Believe me, I am one messed up cookie, and my bf and i fight and fight over the dumbest crap, but you know what? As screwed up as I am, when I am at my worst, he's there for me and accepts me at my ugliest, and he has never thrown it in my face or told me how messed up I am. He knows that I am this way as a result of pain, and abuse, and so many other things. He may not truly like that I am this way, but he accepts that this is who he is dating right now (until I can get to a better place). Other people I've dated couldn't handle me. Was I angry about that at the time? Sure, but in hindsight, not everyone is prepared for so much crazy and how could I expect them to be? I'm not an easy person to date.

Like Mac said in the movie Juno, the right person will still think the sun shines out your ***. It's true. Think of your ending relationship as your move 1 step closer to the person you are meant to be with. You've learned something, you know what you don't want, what you do want, and will use that knowledge the next time around. Life, love and relationships are a big learning experience, so best to think less about "Why?" and move forward.

Of course sometimes we meet people at low points in our life, and sometimes that can work out, but not everyone is in a place of love or acceptance, and a lot of people need room to grow to be able to accept who they are with, the good the bad and the ugly. But once you are in that better place, you'll also be much more able to recognize someone who is that shallow, and isn't the kind of person you want, from a mile away.

Love is out there for you, just don't go looking for it before you love what you see in the mirror first. The person that knows who they are, and is confident in themselves won't stand for that kind of ***** from anyone.

P.S. I do promote getting a cat, lol. Animals are (relatively) low cost therapy