You didn't read what I wrote either.....I said there are always 2 sides to every situation.....there is your wife's side which we haven't heard & there is your side which we have heard. When there are marriage problems, both have some part in the fault of it's problems. Like I said in the other thread however, escaping into alcohol because you don't want to deal with the problems & the issues that come up in every marriage is not only NOT a way to resolve problems in a marriage, but it's also not a way to show yourself as a responsible husband.

Don't kid yourself......having a new home & have your husband go to work & come home & hide in his man cave & drink because he doesn't want to be a part of the decision making process for the difficult things that come up in a marriage, ISN'T giving the wife everything she could ever want in a marriage......having a responsible husband who shares in EVERY decision & EVERY problem that comes up in the marriage rather than hiding from the difficulties is really the ONLY thing that a wife wants or NEEDS in a marriage for it to be successful.

Don't be kidded into believing that with in 2 weeks you could have possibly earned any trust back from this situation......You are NOT bad.....but you have made some very bad choices in your marriage that will take longer than 2 weeks & a lot of family councelling to prove any change in that area & earn your trust back.

A wife can see when the husband is honesly wanting to make the changes & putting REAL effort into those changes.......by complaining about having to make the choices you are now having to make & having to do the things that the court is now telling you you have to do while complaining that you no longer can escape to your alcohol in your man cave.....shows a red flag in my radar screen.

You also commented in your other thread that it's possible that your wife had been honest but you were so wrapped up in yourself that you didn't hear what she was saying:Remember, you have no reason to call yourself a bad person.....just because we've made bad choices & our behavior hadn't been what it needs to be to help build a marriage into a good working relationship, it doesn't make you a bad person.....I would bet that you never learned how to be a good husband from your own parents......that doesn't make you bad.....it just makes you unskilled in the things necessary to make a marriage work....& I'm sure your wife's skills in making a marriage successful have their own area of weakness & inability.....it takes 2 to have a successful marriage....husband & wife......but you can't run away from responsibilities or decision making situations like you have already said you have done......that first of all HAS to CHANGE if you really do want your marriage to be successful.....it takes work....you can't be lazy about it or give up if you really want the marriage to work......once that gets resolved......then the rest of the marriage needs the serious work on it to get rid of all the bad interfacing skills that have been used for so many years......it's too easy to fall back into the bad ways of handling things & it will take a conscious effort on both parts to see that the necessary changes of each person continue to change & improve & function.