My childhood was alright. I had both my parents alive, they were married, I believed in Santa. It was normal, I'd say.

My PTSD showed up on my early 20's due to the abuse I endured with my ex-husband, I should be thankful to be alive after all. Still fighting to find that feeling.

No matter how anyone feelings about their PTSD, going to psychiatrist/psychologist does help. They are the few ones in the field, anywhere that would understand what it is, the impact and how much damage it does to your life. Just gotta find the right one that would click with you so you do feel progress with your path to recovery.

And I don't think you're stupid. You're trying to learn and understand which is what very few out there dare to do, it's easier to point and judge than to learn.

Hope I helped.