I don't know if I have insight. I have studied DID quite a bit to try to understand myself, and have been in therapy forever. But this site has been a world changer for me. Do you remember when - now I can't remember his name, I think it was french - told us he used to go eat after therapy? I find the more I feel HEARD by T, the less likely I am to buy chocolate afterwards - and that's how you sounded to me when you said you felt like acid after your last session, like you felt you hadn't been heard. after the swimming lesson thing, T spent almost 5 minutes talking about him listening to me (ironic!). anyway, thanks, now I understand why current T doesn't understand what she's seeing - I think you ARE using your strength, but because she doesn't know you all, she doesn't see it, so she doesn't acknowledge it, and that is still painful. But we can see it from what you write here.