She's probably not filing because she's ambivalent. It's a huge step. It's hard, even for the spouse who wants out of the marriage. You said you wanted to stay in the marriage. How about initiating a conversation with your wife on that? You can tell her you've noticed that she hasn't done the paperwork and ask if that's because she's unsure. Maybe there is some hope after all if she's not rushing to file. Maybe lean harder on the marriage counseling idea. After all, if she's not filing, then she is not in a big rush. Maybe there is space and hope to try to work things out. In counseling, your wife and you can learn to communicate better, express feelings, etc.

I got divorced a few years ago. My XH and I filed jointly. We didn't rush to the courthouse. We'd been together years, no need to tear everything up on a moment's notice. It can be hard enough to get divorced without feeling rushed and steamrolled. Even when one person wants out and the other doesn't, it is hard on both of them. Good luck to you, jaypop.