Quote:
Originally Posted by sunrise
She's probably not filing because she's ambivalent. It's a huge step. It's hard, even for the spouse who wants out of the marriage. You said you wanted to stay in the marriage. How about initiating a conversation with your wife on that? You can tell her you've noticed that she hasn't done the paperwork and ask if that's because she's unsure. Maybe there is some hope after all if she's not rushing to file. Maybe lean harder on the marriage counseling idea. After all, if she's not filing, then she is not in a big rush. Maybe there is space and hope to try to work things out. In counseling, your wife and you can learn to communicate better, express feelings, etc.
I got divorced a few years ago. My XH and I filed jointly. We didn't rush to the courthouse. We'd been together years, no need to tear everything up on a moment's notice. It can be hard enough to get divorced without feeling rushed and steamrolled. Even when one person wants out and the other doesn't, it is hard on both of them. Good luck to you, jaypop.
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Tried asking her about that papers this morning on what she wants to do. She said she wanted to go throught the divorce instead of working it out. So I replied okshared a liitle bit on how I felt about it but said I would honor her decision on the matter. Five hours latter she states that she wants it to work out only if she can trust me. She thinkd and feels that I have cheated on her and that is a deffinent NO on my side. The hard thing is she believes it so much that she lloks for everything that could mean that I have cheated on her. For example I had to go on a business tripand when I got back she asked me why I had two empty pepsi bottles in my car I said one for the trip down the other on the way back. Then today she found a cig but on the ground which are not the ones I smoke and questioned me about that. Of course I don't have any explination on this matter except that perhaps someone else who has lived here before smoked those, but she still looks at me as if I am liengto her because she believes that I am cheating. I am about ready to scream and leave on just the fact of being accused of something I have not done.