Your situation breaks my heart because I have known women in similar and worse circumstances trapped emotionally and financially by their significant others. I wish I could offer better advisement, but you cannot stay with this man. The indication of how many years he has broken you down is apparent in your posts and it hurts me to know you are enduring what you do. I can never tell another woman to leave her man because it isn't my situation and I feel incapable of telling someone how to handle their marriage or personal matters, but my heart breaks for you and no man is worth it, no matter how comfortably he ensures you live and knows you are not able to support yourself alone. There is help. Your well being and safety comes first. Please seek advisement from someone you trust. Family, church leaders, other persons in a position of authority and counseling assistance. You don't have to stay with him at all. Let him think that. Please go if you can, when you can. Take care of you. It will be hard but you will see you can begin your healing. I wish you well.